wedding, Vietnamese style

My host uncle got married the other week. Come and experience a Vietnamese wedding through this foreigner's eyes:

8:45am--I button up my áo dài (traditional Vietnamese dress) and hop on the back of my host sister's motorbike to scoot off to her grandparents' house and wait the arrival of the bride. As we wait, one of the aunts takes me into a room with a TV and starts talking with me...or to me rather. I try to explain that I'm just learning Vietnamese and if she speaks slowly I might understand, but it seems "speak slowly" doesn't mean much. So I mostly listen and grasp words here and there. The worst is when I recognize question words--uh oh, requires a response from me! I try nodding my head. She asks the question again (hm, must not be a yes/no question). I try repeating the last few words, as in affirming that she just asked a question. That doesn't work either. So then I try responding to what I guess the question is, but she looks really surprised. "Thé ạ!" (Oh really?) No, no, no--my answer is not supposed to be surprising, whatever I just said! So then I resort to "không hiẻu" (I don't understand), but that also feels awkward because it seems like she's telling me some really cool things and I want to understand. Note to self: Learn to say, "please speak to me like you would a 3-year old. I won't be offended, I promise. It'll actually make me feel less stupid."

10:00am--The bride and party finally arrive. They go into the room that holds the ancestor altar, light some incense, inform the ancestors what is going on and let them meet the bride, then exchange rings together in front of the two oldest women of the family. And that is that. The whole thing, maybe five minutes.

10:10am--A few speeches are given by both sides in the dining room while (of course) sipping green tea. Then we head off to a restaurant.

10:30am--Party time! When we get to the reception, there are many people and I see a bride--but wait, that's the wrong one. Then I see another--but she's not the one either. There must be 5-6 wedding receptions going on here. We are directed to the 2nd floor where tables are laid out. There are a few speeches, the food is served (mostly meat), and then lots of picture-taking. We are there no more than two hours.

12:00pm--I return home, change into comfy clothes, and take a nice, long Sunday afternoon nap.

And that is a wedding, Vietnamese style. I was surprised how short the whole thing was. Someone asked me if I felt awkward--yes, of course! I didn't know many of the people, couldn't understand what was being said, and was the only foreigner in the whole place. But I've gotten rather used to this kind of ignorant awkwardness, so it was ok (and it was interesting to see their customs). But what I'd give sometimes for a good hardy Hall gathering... Or for some dancing to loosen people up. I guess the plethora of beer and cigarettes did that sufficiently for most...