Exactly.
It is now July and I'm entering those boundary waters between Vietnam and USA. My calendar tells me the jump is on July 19th, when I embark on travels to PA, NH, UK, NY, and finally IN to begin grad school. Each moment indeed seems split in two...
Melancholy...
...For dear friends, coworkers, and host family that I have grown close to here. While this year has been challenging in some ways, these people are the ones who keep the laugh in my heart and joy in my steps.
...For a go-with-the-flow lifestyle. I often have no idea about the agenda of a given day, but have learned to take things as they come (or don't come). I eat what's put in my bowl. I go where the van takes me. I have few expectations so I'm not upset by changes.
...For fresh fruits and veggies, every day, year-round. When it's mango season, we eat mangos (and lots of them). When it's lychee season, we eat lychee every day. My food comes from the same country I eat it in, and probably just outside of town. As my fellow SALTer Rachel put it, eating local isn't a movement here, it's life.
...For rice. If it's true that you are what you eat, I may resemble a giant grain of rice when I return. Sticky rice for breakfast, rice for lunch, rice for dinner, and rice noodles thrown in for variation. I've grown so accustomed to it that a meal without rice just doesn't quite seem complete A rice cooker is at the top of my shopping list for grad school!
...For language. I've spent nearly a year working so hard on learning Vietnamese--language school, private study, working with my host sister, hours with friends over coffee (or mango smoothies)--and I've come to the point where I can understand quite a bit. I can strike a hard bargain in Vietnamese and make people laugh with simple stories. When I return, all that hard work will be complete jibberish to everyone I know. Fun sayings like "ơi giời ơi," and "ăn cơm chưa?" will be as void of meaning as they were for me a year ago. If I bow my head to you, consider that a greeting or a thank you. If I wave my fingers with my palm down, please come to closer. Work with me--I've lost track of what's Vietnamese, what's American, and what's Ugandan.
...For a go-with-the-flow lifestyle. I often have no idea about the agenda of a given day, but have learned to take things as they come (or don't come). I eat what's put in my bowl. I go where the van takes me. I have few expectations so I'm not upset by changes.
...For fresh fruits and veggies, every day, year-round. When it's mango season, we eat mangos (and lots of them). When it's lychee season, we eat lychee every day. My food comes from the same country I eat it in, and probably just outside of town. As my fellow SALTer Rachel put it, eating local isn't a movement here, it's life.
...For rice. If it's true that you are what you eat, I may resemble a giant grain of rice when I return. Sticky rice for breakfast, rice for lunch, rice for dinner, and rice noodles thrown in for variation. I've grown so accustomed to it that a meal without rice just doesn't quite seem complete A rice cooker is at the top of my shopping list for grad school!
...For language. I've spent nearly a year working so hard on learning Vietnamese--language school, private study, working with my host sister, hours with friends over coffee (or mango smoothies)--and I've come to the point where I can understand quite a bit. I can strike a hard bargain in Vietnamese and make people laugh with simple stories. When I return, all that hard work will be complete jibberish to everyone I know. Fun sayings like "ơi giời ơi," and "ăn cơm chưa?" will be as void of meaning as they were for me a year ago. If I bow my head to you, consider that a greeting or a thank you. If I wave my fingers with my palm down, please come to closer. Work with me--I've lost track of what's Vietnamese, what's American, and what's Ugandan.
Excitement...
...For dear friends and family who I haven't seen in far too long. Big hugs and long chats coming your way... :)
...For fresh air and grass between my toes. These are both unattainable in Hanoi.
...For eavesdropping. To be able to understand fast, quiet conversations around me without any effort may leave me overstimulated for some weeks. Newspapers and radio in English. One-liners and language puns that used to be a large part of my joking around.
...For big family gatherings where I know everyone, everyone knows me, and I can understand and contribute to conversations without feeling dumb. It's the simple things in life.
...For libraries with shelves and shelves of books in English that I can borrow for free. Whoever invented this concept was a genius.
...For autonomy. Being able to make decisions about what to cook and cooking it myself without being told I'm peeling the wrong way or using not enough MSG, where to go, who to meet, etc. Being an adult, basically.
...For grad school--both terrifying and exciting. Mostly exciting, if I don't think of the stress of papers and long readings. Ethnomusicology and journalism is pretty much my dream degree.
Right-o, that's enough for now. As each moment is split in two, I grieve for what is left behind and push forward to what is ahead, fully embracing the contradictions and ironies as I navigate the boundary waters.
...For fresh air and grass between my toes. These are both unattainable in Hanoi.
...For eavesdropping. To be able to understand fast, quiet conversations around me without any effort may leave me overstimulated for some weeks. Newspapers and radio in English. One-liners and language puns that used to be a large part of my joking around.
...For big family gatherings where I know everyone, everyone knows me, and I can understand and contribute to conversations without feeling dumb. It's the simple things in life.
...For libraries with shelves and shelves of books in English that I can borrow for free. Whoever invented this concept was a genius.
...For autonomy. Being able to make decisions about what to cook and cooking it myself without being told I'm peeling the wrong way or using not enough MSG, where to go, who to meet, etc. Being an adult, basically.
...For grad school--both terrifying and exciting. Mostly exciting, if I don't think of the stress of papers and long readings. Ethnomusicology and journalism is pretty much my dream degree.
Right-o, that's enough for now. As each moment is split in two, I grieve for what is left behind and push forward to what is ahead, fully embracing the contradictions and ironies as I navigate the boundary waters.
